It’s 3 am, and your friend just texted again. Another sleepless night. While you can’t sleep for them, you can make a real difference in their journey towards better sleep. Here’s how to be there for someone when sleep feels impossible.
Impact of Insomnia
Imagine your friend dragging themselves into work after their third sleepless night this week. They’re on their fourth coffee by 12 pm, struggling to focus during meetings and barely holding it together. That’s insomnia – it’s not just about being tired. It seeps into every area of life, from relationships to work performance. Some nights, they’re so exhausted they can’t think straight, yet their mind starts racing the moment their head hit the pillow.
- Their body is screaming for sleep, but their mind won’t shut up
- Bedtime terrifies them
- Yesterday’s conversation? They can’t recall it
- One minute, they’re sobbing; the next, they’re snapping at colleagues
- That cold they can’t get rid of? Blame the compromised immune system.
The Clues
Maybe your friend used to be the social butterfly, but now they’re ghosting on plans. Or they’ve switched from their morning coffee to energy drinks – lots of them. These changes might seem minor, but they’re like pieces of a puzzle.
- “I’ll just rest my eyes during lunch” becomes a daily ritual
- Their desk is a caffeine graveyard
- Those dark circles aren’t from their new eye makeup
- The fridge is full of midnight snacks they don’t remember buying
How to Be There Without Overwhelming
Be the backup singer, not the lead vocalist. Your friend’s got enough on their plate – they don’t need you to be their sleep coach. Just be the friend who’s there without trying to take over their story.
- When they complain about another sleepless night, just listen
- Don’t ask “when I couldn’t sleep” – this isn’t about you
- Have resources ready, but wait for them to ask
- “Want to go for a morning walk?” beats. “You should exercise more.”
- Sometimes, a 3 am text chat is exactly what they need
- Keep inviting them to stuff – isolation makes everything worse
What Not to Do
We’ve all been there – trying to help but somehow making it worse. Maybe you suggested counting sheep (who does that work for, anyway?) or telling them about your one bad night of sleep last month. Trust me, that’s not helping.
- “Have you tried melatonin?” (Yes, they’ve tried everything)
- “I once couldn’t sleep for two whole days” (Not the same thing)
- “A glass of wine helps me sleep” (Please don’t)
- “Just catch up on weekends” (Sleep doesn’t work that way)
- “You should really hit the gym” (Not what they need to hear)
- “It’s probably just stress.” (If only it were that simple)
When to Push for Professional Help
Sometimes, being a good friend means having tough conversations. If you see your friend spiraling into a deep hole with their sleep issues, it’s time for that gentle push towards professional help.
- They’ve been running on empty for weeks, not days
- Work emails are full of typos they’d never make
- You can hear the depression in their voice
- Headaches and dizziness are their new normal
- The OTC sleep aids aren’t working
- They’re considering self-medicating to cope
Creating a Supportive Space
Think of this as creating a sleep sanctuary around your friend. It’s not just about their bed – it’s about building a life that allows rest. Small changes in their daily routine can make a big difference.
- “Want to try that new herbal tea shop?” (Sneaky relaxation)
- Netflix marathons are out; evening walks are in
- Help them turn their bedroom into a legit sleep sanctuary
- “Same time tomorrow?” (Consistency is key)
- Be their daytime sunshine buddy (literally, sunshine helps)
- Check in regularly, but don’t make sleep the only topic
At Rest My Best, we know insomnia is hard for everyone involved. If your friend is ready to talk to someone who knows sleep, we’re here. Our team can handle everything from mild sleep hiccups to full-blown insomnia. Get in touch with us today.